Stupid Kidney.

My kidney is an asshole.


Not like literally in the sense that I can poop from it.  But you know what I mean.


Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with my Urologist to discuss the future of my kidney. 



The pathology report, while neither really confirming, nor confirming that there were indeed atypical cells, dysplasia and carcinomas in the lining, sort of gave the impression that if all 3 were listed on the report, that either one or all were present.

So again, it seemed like the best thing to do, was get it out.

Especially because of how it was bleeding for so many months.  So much so, to the point I became somewhat anemic from all the blood loss.


Yet, the wording of that stupid pathology report was not sitting well with anyone.  It was like it didn’t want to come out and say yes or no.  All the Dr. could say was that all or one of the above at best was a possible “maybe”. 

 With the discovery of the mass . . . even though the pathology report was a possible maybe, he felt sure that if he took the kidney out, and cut it open, that there would be cancer there.  (Or something.)


But the bleeding was the key.  He felt that was enough to go to go ahead and take the fucker out.  I mean, bleeding for 5 months . . . non stop with out any let up.


After the probe, he seemed confident in removing it.  He saw a mass inside, and since he couldn’t locate the exact cause of why it was bleeding, he felt it was best to just remove it.  Cause you know, if you’re bleeding from a vital organ, and can’t identify the cause, one would assume that it’s fucked up anyways and best to just get it out of your body before it does further damage.




I think that my kidney caught wind of what was going to transpire and decided to buckle up and quit acting like a dick. 

The bleeding, which I had been experiencing for the past 5 months or so, quickly tapered off.

What once looked like cola coming out, now was becoming lighter and lighter, to the point where I am actually peeing the most healthy looking piss I think I have ever pissed in my life.



            So when my Urologist asked yesterday if I was still bleeding and I told him no, he kind of threw himself down on the exam table in utter frustration.  ( I was NOT on the exam table.  I just want to clarify this.  I don’t want people thinking he threw himself down on top of me.  Cause that would have been really weird and uncomfortable.)


            To throw another monkey wrench into the whole mess. . . (Do monkey’s really have wrenches?  Where do they get them in the jungle?  What are they using them for?  That’s just silly.) The pathologist decided to amend the report to show that only atypical cells were present, which would show some sort of inflammation.


(Inflammation people.  An infection of some sorts. . . which I think I mentioned waaaaaay back in the beginning of all this.)


 (does that look like an inflammation to you?)

He wasn’t as confident about removing my kidney after all this shit came to light, and now, we are once again, playing the wait and see game.  Sure he saw something in the kidney that shouldn’t have been there, but because of the amendment to the report and the cease in bleeding, he’s not sure what to think now.  He would hate to remove a perfectly healthy kidney and then be sued.  It could have been inflammation, it could have been something benign.  It could have been a stupid alien baby, or a big pocket of cooties.  Who the hell knows now?


(who wants some alien baby kidney cake?)



I hate the not knowing.  I also hate that if this were an inflammation of some sorts, why did all that shit show up on previous reports?  Why didn’t it show up in my blood/urine test results?  I would have thought that my white blood cell count would have been a little high.  Then again, I am no doctor, so what do I know?


He had me go for another CT urogram where they once again, injected the dye and I felt like I was gonna piss myself.   I also have to do a Urine Cytology, collecting samples over the next various days and dropping them off at the lab so they can do a sort of Pap test on the cells if you will.


It’s all good news really.  Yay!  I don’t have cancer, and Yay! I don’t have to lose an organ (at this time) but it all goes back to this being an anomaly.  Which is frustrating. 

Not only that, but I feel bad that people worried about me for no good reason. 


So as of right now, the kidney stays.  We are getting a second opinion.  I’m actually physically feeling a bit better.  I don’t feel AS lethargic, and even though my side still is stiff and I still have some pangs of pain here and there, I’m getting back into the swing of things. 


And life goes on. 

And so do I.


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