Pussyfooting, Spirituality and Getting Shit Done.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4830191195319

 (click on that shit and watch!)

I love this.  There is such beautiful fluidity that I envy.  I know if I just spent as much time in my hoop, I too could probably be a hoop genius.  Or maybe not.  I personally feel that I lack a certain finesse that most hoop gurus possess.  Most hoopers possess.  My body is not built like most, and I am hardly athletic, but that’s ok.  

 

I’ve been lucky to have been a student of Baxter’s on many occasions.  I really jive with his philosophy that not only applies to the space in the hoop, but also outside it in everyday life.

 

I feel that I used to be a more deep and spiritual person.  Every night I would lay in bed, quiet my head and have long conversations with the makers that be, thanking them for every inch of fabric that was my life at the time.  The good and bad.  I would ask them for guidance and for the Blessed Mother to send me signs that I was on the right path or at least pointed in the right direction.  (I would always ask for a flower to appear to me.)

I would surround myself with colors of light for healing or calming purposes.  I meditated on all 3 names of my spirit guides (Mark and Paul being the dominant ones, who seem to come around most often) and Mary (who seems to be a back up.) and would call upon them for their protection and support.

 

I always felt a presence around me.  I felt confident in my beliefs and my whereabouts.  Not that I don’t now, but I guess my attitude has become more of indifference and a bit flippant.  Jaded.

 

Somewhere along the way, I lost that connection.  

I can’t even tell you the last time I sat down and had a heart to heart with my guides.  I don’t even “feel” them around me.  Probably because I have let down the veil between this world and theirs.

 

I’m sure a great deal of why I lost it, was my own laziness and becoming too “stuck” in the physicality of this world.  Yes, we are humans.  We make mistakes, feel, react, indulge, etc.

I think it’s important though, to remember that we are also SOULS living in these human bodies, which also need to be nourished in some way.

 

I think another reason too as to why I “lost” it, is because I bought into this whole manifesting what you want bull crap.  I am not saying that it is not possible, to “attract” what it is you want, I just think that maybe you aren’t always (and pardon me for getting all Rolling Stones here) suppose to “get” what you want.  This leads to a lot of inner struggles with me as to when and if I should even set up expectations for life.  Or maybe I just need to learn how to handle my disappointment better.  I think that’s it right there.  Good thing I blogged all this out.  Nothing like having the lesson blared right out in front of your face.  Thank you universe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Which also brings me to another point, the point that I wanted to make towards my hooping but totally got side tracked? 

 

 

I know that I lack discipline, and it’s something that I feel I really need to work on.  Not just in hooping, but in ALL areas of my life.  I tend to be a glutton.  A hedonist if you will. 

It’s not that I am lazy, (well leisurely I am to a degree,) I just like what I like, and simply over indulge.  Again, I blame this all on my Taurean instincts.  Ok Ok Ok, so I procrastinate.  That’s got nothing to do with laziness.  I know that when I have some down time, I could pick up my hoop and maybe give it 5 minutes of my time, however, sitting on the couch and catching up on Game of Thrones seems much more appealing. 

 

One of the reasons I really got into hooping was how it began to take me to a state of total awareness/ yet not awareness?. . . I’m not even sure that makes any sense, but It did help with meditating and just “being” for whatever time being.  It served (and still does serve) as a metaphor for that “something bigger” than me, and connecting me to something deeper with in myself.  It helped with the ego a bit (that is when I don’t get all caught up in being Ms Fancy Pants Hooptrickstar)

 

It’s good for centering.

 

 

Now that the show I’m in is in full swing and we are entering our second weekend of performances, I have more free time on the weeknights.  Which as of late, has been mostly catching up on neglected chores, responsibilities and slothing about a bit.  After next weekend, I will be free form this theatrical obligation and will have my life back.  My life of leisurely wantonness.

 

So no more pussyfooting.  I plan on setting small goals to keep myself enriched and on a path of well being.  I WILL sign up for yoga classes.  I WILL send in my application for financial aid so I can get the ball rolling on going back to school.  And I WILL make an effort to spend more time with my hoop.  Even if it’s just snuggling under a blanket on the couch, while watching Season 5 of Big Love.  Cause I never finished that show and I am so intrigued by polygamy.

 

(From a feminist viewpoint, I should be abhorred by such a practice, however, I think that if polygamy done right, as I feel it is done in this show, can be a real empowerment to women . . . because really, they are the ones that are in charge . . . telling the man where he needs to be and do at what time on what day.  Sure sure, it’s sickening that men use this as a “spiritual” calling to just stick their dicks into whatever women they fancy at the time, but if you’re a lady who just wants a man to bring home the bacon and you only have to sleep with him what?  Like once a week. . . This might be for you.  Just kidding.  Sort of.)

 

(Oh and I could never be a polygamist.  I’d scratch a bitch’s eyes out.  Again. . . Taurean possessiveness.)

 

Anyways, what was I talking about?

 

Oh yes,

I want the veil to be lifted again.  I want to feel the universe about me and it touching my soul, being connected and more grounded. 

 

And yeah hoop snuggling and Big Love. 

And getting shit done.

 

The end.

 

 

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