Dream I had New Year’s Eve Night

I was back in the area where my ex husband grew up.  It’s a rural area of western PA, and I was driving back to the town of New Bethlehem.  Except I was on a bike. As in bicycle.  (which on those hilly roads is no easy feat.) I remember I wanted to go down a specific road because I knew it would take me the most direct way into town.  I know someone was with me, but who I am not sure.  So we are riding these hilly roads, and we come upon a man, upon a man leading a line of birds.  There had to be at least 3 or 4 different birds, one of each.  I can remember there being like a swan, and at the very end of the line was a black duck.  Since he was taking up the road with his birds, and we were stuck behind him, I kept looking for opportunities to sort of cut around him.  I remember feeling very annoyed that this guy was somehow keeping pace with me, and not letting us really get ahead of him.  I also remember telling whoever I was with to keep their eyes open for turkeys, for the area was filled with them.  (This I think is because I actually did see a turkey hanging out in someone’s driveway while driving the one day.)


I see an opportunity to cut ahead of the bird man, and we go a bit  further down the road, when I see a man coming out of his house, carrying a big cardboard cheese cut out, with a hole in it, like where you could stick your head through.  I stopped and asked him if we could take our picture with it.  At first he wanted to know why, so I told him because it was a cool cardboard cut out.  Then he said maybe for $1, to which I just scoffed got back on my bike and continued on my way.

At some point I reach to be what appears to be a school and I ride my bike inside the auditorium.  In a room off to the side, I see that the bird man is there. I can hear him telling the black duck, that even though it was slower than the rest of t he group, the group would always be waiting for him somewhere.  That they would never abandon their friend.

The bird man also had another fellow with him, who seemed to be resting and trying to catch his breath.  The bird man turned to his pal and  said something along the lines of “hard to not get attached to them.” Where upon the other man, seemed to get a bit emotional and agreed.

At this point I tried to go through into  the next room and was trying to shove my bike through a door, when I saw a teacher that I had worked with at my old gig at another school.  Wanting to confirm if this indeed was the man, I walked back into the auditorium.  He had disappeared,   and instead there was kid standing there that I just assumed was the teacher’s son.  (he kinda looked like the guy.) So I asked where his dad was from, and the kid told me Canada.  (not true) I then asked if he had worked in the city I had worked at, and the kid told me yes, that the teacher’s name was Mr. Rachenbaucher.  (also not true)


Now up till this point I would have been looking into what all this shit symbolizes and if my subconscious is truly trying to tell me something.  However, it all goes out the door after this next part, partly because the next bit makes me not care about the 1st bit.


All of a sudden people show up, and my mom is standing there saying something to me.  I turn around and I see my ex husband walk in.  He stands there just smiling at me.  There is a radiance about him, and he looks happy. .. . and like he just got a haircut.  He then flips me off, but never stops smiling.  I can see the mischievousness in his eyes. 


I start to move towards him and as I do so, each step closer I get to him, I see that he has aged, and is aging into an old man.  But the smile never waned from his face.  Even as he is aging, there is such a beauty that radiates from him.  I sense that this is my one time to tell him what I have been wanting to tell him since he left this world, and I take his face into my hands.  I tell him that I missed him.  He tells me that he misses me too. . . .

            As he says these words. . .I wake up. . .Immediately.  Full wide on, wide awakeness.


A sense of peace about the whole situation has been with me since that dream.  I truly feel that he did visit me.  My soul honest to the universe feels that it was really him.

I like to think he is with me and at the same time out there.  In a metaphysical sense.  You know, being everywhere at once.


            I just want to know that he is ok now. 

For once, I finally feel like he is. 


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: 1 Year. « How Kaycee got her Flow Back.

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