2013 Fairy Birthday Card Reading

As Birthday tradition, I like to check in with the fairies on my birthday.  See if they have anything insightful they wanna tell me.

As always, the fairies are full of insight.

Those Fairies!

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Heart of the Matter:

Dreams Coming True

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According to the fairies, the life I have been “dreaming” of is becoming a reality.  I’m not sure what that means, because the life I have been dreaming of, involves no bills, lots of money and lots of traveling. . . .So either I will be winning the lottery?  Or a sugar daddy will soon be appearing.  Quite frankly, I think I have a better chance at winning the lottery than a sugar daddy coming along.  😛

Anyways, desires are manifesting.  Sweet.

Opposing Factor/Factor for Change:

Romantic Partner

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There are several ways I can take this.  One . . . that relationships could be an opposing factor, or obstacle in obtaining my goals/dreams. . . Perhaps I am just so fixated on a relationship in my life that I am NOT putting much effort or thought into other goals.  Perhaps it is because I am so focused on this aspect of my life, is why I feel that everything else is off?  OR, a relationship that is currently present in my life, will begin to present itself in a manner that I have been hoping it would.  Hence the manifesting from the pervious card.  Either way, a particular relationship HAS been playing a big role in my life these days.

Or this just really reinforces that a sugar daddy will be introduced.  Pbbllt! Pbbllt!

I kid.  Relax.

Root Cause:

Feeling Safe (inverted)

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By looking at the 1st two cards, it’s easy to see now, where all this stems from.  There obviously is a situation where I am not feeling “safe”.

Perhaps what the fairies are saying is that this uneasy feeling that I am carrying, is what is blocking me from visualizing what it is I want to attain.  *sigh* Sometimes it’s just so hard to let go of hurt, especially when there are no logical answers or explanations.

Past/Receding Influence:

 

Quiet Time

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Hmmm. . . I am not so sure on this.  On a whole, I can see an urge of more “me” time, and more me time in the sense of more me “reflection” time.

Or perhaps, I have been too quiet?  Yes, I think that may be it, because my next card is. . . .

Attitudes & Beliefs/Goal or Purpose:

Creative Expression

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Except for making a few birthday gifts here and there, I have not really tapped into my artistic side.  I did pull out a cross stitch I have been working on for years. . . but even that is slow going, and I don’t put an exceptional amount of effort into finishing it anytime soon.  I do feel a bit stagnant in my creative department.  I have sort of just been sitting around not doing much.  I talk about how I want to sew this, or make a bunch of pendants, or do another play, find another show for my Burlesque hooping, but I don’t actually “do” much about it.  So I am thinking the fairies are saying Hey!  That’s enough lazing about!  Time to get our creative mojo going!  Yeah!

Future/Approaching Influence/Unresolved Factor/Quality to Embrace:

 

Higher Consciousness

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“This card is a validation that my recent feelings, thoughts, dreams and aspirations are coming from my spirit.  I am receiving guidance from my true self, which is one with the Divine universal wisdom.”

Bitchin!

I feel more in tune with myself and the powers that be.  I figure if I don’t ask for much, then I can’t be as disappointed.  A problem I think I had in regards to my spiritual relationship.

You as you are/Could Be/Present yourself/See yourself:

 

Stand Your Ground

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It’s good to see this card in this spot.  I need to make decisions based more so on my true feelings.  I have noticed that I have been openly communicating more so, even with difficult people.  Or at least I feel that way.  Normally I would just be like Fuck it!  and shut down.  But lately, I have been a bit more assertive is getting my point across, and demanding the truth from others.

It is a quality I feel that I need to tap into more.

Let me walk my truth, and you walk yours.  The end!

Well not the end. . . we still have more cards to go,

Environment

Vacation

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Fuck yeah I need a vacation.  I don’t need the fairies to tell me this shit.

Hopes And Fears

Environmental Awareness

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Son of a bitch I do not like this card.  I knew too, that this card was going to show up somewhere in this spread.  I guess I just don’t fully understand the message behind it.  Be greener?

I will say this.  My goal for the coming warmer months is to be outside as much as possible.  To reconnect with my Earthy roots (as I am an earth sign.)

I also feel that this card, on a personal level is also telling me that not only do I need to be more active in physical environmental matters, but also emotional and spiritual ones as well.  To take a look at my “environment” and make check to see if it is serving me in a more satisfying spiritual way.

Final Outcome

 

New Location (inverted)

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Boo!  Hiss!! I had been hoping to find a new gig soon.   The gig I have now, is not really doing it for me.  I am growing more and more disinterested and frustrated, and the money is just not cutting it.  *sigh* screw you fairies!

But let’s look at the BIG picture. . . The Culmination of all these cards. . .could it be if I do not tackle my insecurities and not listen to myself, then there is the possibility for no movement?  Hmmm. . . So encrypted fairies.. . so encrypted.

Usually I like to draw an extra card that is sort of my Mantra, or Power card for the remainder of the year.  This Birthday’s Mantra is:

INNER POWER!

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BOO YA!  Right in your face!

I will allow myself to experience and express my true innate power!  There is no stopping me.  There is nothing I can not accomplish (except flying to the moon by flapping my arms)…….with in reason!  I am Kaycee and I sound my yawp over the rooftops!

Ok.

Now The end.

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Stuff on the MHE tip.

I went to see a new Ortho.

I’ve mentioned somewhere, sometime before, that I have been without an Ortho for quite some time now due to my old Ortho deciding that he wanted to narrow done his field and focus mainly on the knee and sports medicine.

I was pretty disheartened when my old Ortho told me that he would no longer be able to see me.  I mean I had been going to this guy since I was 2, and he seemed to be very knowledgeable and extremely compassionate to my condition.

But you know, we spent 30 some years together he and I. . . I am sure he is looking to lighten his load and retire soon.  That or he was just sick me.

Anyways, that was like, 8 years ago? 10?

Since then, I have seen maybe one or two other Orthos whom I just haven’t felt comfortable with.  One guy seemed to rush me in and out and was just like yeah, you got tumors, I can take em’ out.  See my surgery scheduling nurse.  And that was that.

Um no.

I am not looking for more surgeries.

So I kinda just said fuck it.  I’m doing ok.  And went many years with out seeing what condition my condition was in.

However, now that I am getting older, I sort of have concerns and questions in regards to living with this disorder and how it will affect me as I age.  I am wondering how many of my aches and pains are actually related to my tumors and how many are just from getting older.

While I have always been a bit stiffer than most, it seems to have intensified.  What is that all about?  Do I need to uptake my calcium?  Do more stretching? Or is it just tumors getting in the way of stuff.  You know . . . which are caused by tumor issues, and which are not.

I don’t know what is “normal” aging.  Is that pain in my shoulder because I have a bunch of tumors caught up in ligaments and rubbing against tendons?  Or is it because I have some other “growing old” crap going on.

I just don’t know what to expect.

What does one living with MHE face while growing older?  Are we more susceptible to arthritic/bone problems?  Bursitis?  I mean, what do we need to watch out for and anticipate?  I know my risk for Osteosarcoma, (a type of bone cancer) goes up but what does that mean?

I don’t think there are any studies out there for individuals aging with MHE.

So I asked around in the MHE community for recommendations on any Orthos that were familiar with this disorder and who people felt comfortable with.

I was directed to check out a new guy over at a different hospital.

I made the appointment and was told to please bring all previous films/scans/records with me.

I just have to laugh at this.  All previous films/scans/records are about 34 years worth of materials.  But ok.  So I contacted my original hospital’s records department and requested that ALL of my information be sent.  I also requested that my films and scans be sent to my house.

I mean, I was kind of curious to see my bone structure and what was done over the years.

So imagine my surprise when my films showed up in a slim mailing envelope. (and the day before my appointment, so I didn’t have any time to look at them.)  They had sent a cd of my scans, which when you think about modern technology, it would make sense.  I was surprised though, that they were able to “fit” 34 years worth of x-rays, bones scans, cat scans and MRI’s onto one disk.

How savvy technology is!

Upon the day of my actual visit with the new Ortho, I checked myself in with the receptionist and filled out my paperwork.  Initially when I had made the appointment I had explained the reason for my visit.  I have a genetic bone disorder, which causes tumors to grow in and around the long bones and near joints and need to find a new Ortho to see.

Pretty cut and dry right?

Well not if you are not familiar with the above.

Which most people are not.

So when I handed back the paperwork I was required to fill out when I got there, I was informed that they would be taking x-rays BEFORE I went in to see the Dr. I was then asked which part of my body should they be taking x rays of.

*sigh*

Um, my whole body???

I mean, this is not an isolated occurrence.  Multiple.  Extosis.

Meaning lots of bony growths.  Everywhere.

So I told them. . . My whole body, and again, went into my whole spiel about my disorder to the receptionist, who had NO idea what I was talking about.  (And why would she?)  She then told me she was going to go ask the Dr’s assistant on what they should do. . .meaning, would he want to see me before or after the x-rays.

I was thinking that if this guy has seen patients with my condition before, why wouldn’t he want to see me first and get an idea of which areas could be a concern, and then send me off for x-rays. But that was not the case.  His assistant called me up to the window, where again, I had to explain what my condition was exactly.  She then asked me to name which areas of my body seemed to bother me the most. . . so I just blurted out my right shoulder, my ankles and hips, which have all been noticeably more sore and achy.

So those were the areas that were x-rayed.

Mind you, I am mainly coming to see this guy to get an OVER ALL view of what’s going on with my bone structure.

But whatever.

After the x-rays I was placed in the exam room where once again I had to explain my story to the resident, who did some basic motion .  . Er. . motions with me, to see if my . . .uh. . motion of certain areas was impeded or affected in some way.  (this would all be repeated again with the actual Ortho later)

The Dr didn’t keep me waiting too long, which was nice.  He seemed like a nice enough man.  Maybe in his mid to late 40’s? Again, I told my story.  He asked why I was there to see him after not seeing anyone for so many years and I told him that I just wanted to do a sort of check up and talk about what to expect, since I was told he was knowledgeable with this condition.

He sat me down and went through all the crap I knew already.  That this is an autosomal dominant hereditary disorder.  Which of the genes that it has been isolated on. . .so on and so forth.  He then explained to me since It is a hereditary condition, I would more than likely pass the gene on to my children (which I knew, and have made peace with in some regards, but to hear it again, I dunno.  It kinda made me sad.) He then asked me who else in my family has this condition and was very surprised to learn that I was a spontaneous mutation.

In all his years of dealing with people with this condition, he had never come across someone who did not inherit the disorder from a relative.

He seemed almost in disbelief.  It kinda bugged me a bit that he seemed so reluctant to accept that I was a spontaneous mutant, but he seemed to come around slightly.  He then again stressed the fact that since I was a spontaneous mutation that the possibility of passing the gene on was probably greater than the 50/50 that is normally associated with the disorder.

He also told me that after a person is done growing, then the tumors do as well.  Again, I told him this was not the case with me.  That I had tumors removed and they had come back.  Or at least I am pretty sure they did. . . I mean, I have had about 3 surgeries on my ankles alone to remove tumors.

Again he was reluctant with my response.  He retorted back that usually if a person loses weight, it can “seem” like new tumors have formed.  The pain that is associated with the area the tumor is around, is not because it is growing per se, but because it is pressing up against nerves, tendons or ligaments.

I again, told him that while yes, they do indeed press, impede and get in the way, that mine have also come back.  I then asked him to look back on the scans on the disk provided by the previous hospital I had gone to since the age of 2, which was given to him.

He told me that there were only the last 4 scans on the disc and nothing more, so he couldn’t get a good comparison as to what may have been in certain places before and if anything came back.

(Thanks Cleveland Clinic. . . I guess to them “everything” only means your most recent.  Most recent in my case would have been 6 years ago, which would have been 3 years after my last surgery.)

Oh, and they neglected to send my records over to him as well.

So no wonder the new Ortho and I were walking into this blind.

Too make a long story short (too late) he had me go get an MRI done of my right shoulder and hips. . .as I seem to be experiencing the most pain and stiffness around these areas.

So that is what I did last Friday.

Now I just need to go back and see what my results have to say.  My guess is gonna be that there are tumors.  Ha!  Er.  Eh hem.

Anyways, that’s my story, and then I kicked some guy in the teeth and then found five dollars.

Ok not really.  But it’s a good way to end a story.

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