Catchin up

I have so much that I want to post and yap about, though lack of time and resources have been a major factor as to why I haven’t.

I don’t have a computer these days, so the past several posts of mine have been hurridly thrown together and typed up on my phone. 

I used to be able to jot stuff down here and there at my old gig and then just copy and paste, or email to myself to be posted at a later time.  But not this new gig.  They monitor EVEYTHING.  Every key stroke.  And even if I could jot here and there, there would be no way I could save what I’ve written.  Or email it to myself.  Cause that is considered a big no no as well.  So as of late, I have been writing.  Like actual pen to paper.  So there are quite a few subjects, rants and other retardness that I have been thinking about . . . I just need to get them all on here. 

Problem is, I just don’t feel like it once 5 o’clock hits.  I just want to go home and not think. And not spend the next 3 hours typing on my phone. 

God that place sucks the soul out of me.

I have tried regurgitating a few posts during my lunch. . .sitting in my cold ass car for the half hour that is alotted to me. . . but like I sad, I feel rushed.  So most of what has been posted here feels to me, to be all gobbley dee gunk and not put together well, thought wise.

I can tell you that my life as of late has become quite sedative and uneventful.  I haven’t hooped in god knows how long.  It’s sad.  I haven’t done yoga in god knows long.  In fact I haven’t done anything really to nurture my being.  Why?  because I have been so bogged down by this stupid ass job, and trying to get the fuck out of it, which has been proving to be quite difficult.

All I know is that I need to do something with myself.  And soon.  The fact that I am growing older isn’t sitting well with me either.  And while yes, I am young compared to some. . . in my head, there is this constant anxiety that this will all go by so fast and then what?

I just don’t feel there is much time left.

I have no idea where this anxiety is stemming from.  Or why it came about.  But here it is. 

 

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