Mo Money…..Mo Math.

I had my meeting with a counselor at the local college to talk about what I need to do about going back, and what all I have to do to began my path into social work.

(Yes.  I am that insane.)

Seems I’m not all that far away from obtaining an associates…which doesn’t mean shit really….but it helps for when I transfer to a 4 year school that actually offers a BA in my chosen field.
So, if everything goes well, I should have my Associates by end of summer 2014 and I can move on to a 4 year university.

There are just two things that worry me.

The 1st is, well…money.  I have no idea of how I am going to pay for all this.  I’ve just been going along all willy nilly like it’s not an issue….but it is.
I obviously will have to apply for financial aid, and the deadline is fast approaching if I want to get my butt in the door for spring semester.  (Which doesn’t start in spring….more like begining of winter…as in january.which if you ask me….is not anywhere near spring.)
I was told that I need to petition an appeal for Financial aide, due to my poor academic standing from previous terms I had attended…. Back in early 2000’s I had attempted to go back, and well, I had a nervous breakdown of sorts.  If I was more than 5 mins late to a class I would freak out and start having panic attacks.  The thought of having to walk into a room and people looking at me, ensued panic attacks.  Getting out of my car to attend class …..would ensue panic attacks.  So I just stopped going.  I didn’t withdrawl from the classes.  I just didn’t go back.  It would be a few months later, when I started therapy, that I learned that I was suffering from depression and agoraphobia.  In hindsight….I should have withdrawn from the classes, but I was so freaked out by people.   Large groups of people.

I’d try again a semester later and did pretty well, with the help of therapy and medication.  Then I lost my job, and that was that.  I think that time it was too late to withdraw from some of the classes.
Both times I wasn’t receiving any financial aid per se.  I did get involved with a program that was designed to help those with disabilities, and since my depression was considered as such, I was able to go to school those two semesters.  Again, having to drop out towards the end of the one due to the programs restrictions of either helping to go to school, or helping to find a job.  Since I lost my job, paying the rent became the priority.  They found me a job and closed my case.

I would go back again in 2005, this time, paying for it myself once again.  That semester I did very well.

Even though my grades were a big improvement from previous years, it wasn’t enough to squeak me past the title of Poor academic standing.

So I need to show documentation of any kind of medical treatment I was receiving during the early 2000’s.  Problem is, is that the center I was going to, doesn’t seem to exist anymore.  The therapist I was seeing….I can’t get a hold of her.  If it’s her.  Nor do I have the time to chase this woman down by driving 45 miles out of my way to where I think her office may be.

Soooooooo…..I dunno.  I’m not sure how this part will play out.  I don’t really want to start taking out loans….but if I have to….I guess I have to.  Uggghhhhhhh.

My second obstacle is….Algebra.
Fuck you algebra.  With your enigmatic varibles and fancy letters.  I don’t
Want to find your x….she probably hates your guts as much as I do and doesn’t want you to find her.
Creepy stalker.

Algebra just really frustrates me.  In the sense that I think over the years, mathemeticians have just complicated it more than it needs to be, to make themselves feel all smarty pants and high and mighty.  To me a number is a number.  It represents a value.  That’s it.  There is no need to confuse numbers as integers, absolute values, bastard numbers…whatever.
And no matter how many times I am shown how to do said equations….and no matter how to a T I follow said equations…my shit is always wrong.  Somewhere along my calculations, I am thwarted by the evil demons of algebra.
Not to mention when it comes to word problems, the shit on the test is never worded the way it was in class or in the dumb homework.
Algebra and I…..nemisies forever.
Yet I need a stupid math class in order to obtain my associates.  Let me clarify this….I need a level 1100 math class….so any math class before that 1100 does not count towards my degree.  It doesn’t count towards anything….and with the way things are between algebra and I….I should probably start at the 4th grade level.

So that could prove to be a hinderence in obtaining said associates by the end of summer.

Hopefully though (as I am a hopeless…hoper.) All will go accordingly.  The gods of school funding will smile down upon me and feel me worthy and I will smite algebra in it’s ugly twat face .


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jess
    Dec 10, 2013 @ 11:29:13

    Fingers crossed! I hate algebra as much as you do. I see it and run lol 😉

    Hope you can easily track down that therapist!


    • pixiegirlkc52
      Dec 10, 2013 @ 12:29:09

      I tackled a little bit of it last night….christ. now its parenthese….when to ignore them, when not to. Stupid.
      I hope I can too….I’m running out of time. : /


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