Feeling Safe in 2014.

I’ve been putting off posting my New Year Fairy Card 2014 “Power” Theme. Mostly due to me not being able to get to a computer, annnd mostly from the personal goings on in my life.

For those just tuning in or stumbling through, I like to ask the Fairies what I can expect for the following year. What wisdom, insight or thoughts do they have for me that I should be aware of?
Stuff like that.

I also meditate on what my “power” theme or anthem for the year will be. Last year it was “Breaking Free.” Which to a huge degree I did.

I was working shitty jobs, but just recently “broke free” of the last one and landed a new one that is closer to home and pays better. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this one will work out. Regardless of how intimidated or overwhelmed I feel at the moment about learning the ins and outs of this new gig.

I am also trying to “break free” from the funk of feeling directionless in my life. I’m in the process of trying to go back to school. Things are in the works, but there have been a few setbacks here and there. Which I will probably bitch about later. However, the ball is rolling more so that it has in the past 10 years. It’s a start. A big start.

I also “broke free” from a relationship that was steeped in lies and deception. While I don’t like to get into that side of things on here too often, I will say that I don’t feel any better about “breaking free” from this person. I didn’t really want to “break free”. I was hoping that we could have fixed our fragile relationship. But it’s hard to fix something by yourself, and especially when the other person refuses to see how their own behavior played a part in the deterioration of the relationship.  I had such strong hopes that we would have pushed through our struggles and found ourselves in something that was deeper, more connected and stronger. I really wanted us to Rise above all the bullshit.
I don’t feel as though that a weight has been lifted and that I no longer have to worry or hurt over their careless actions and Narcissistic behavior. Truth is, I love this person very much, and just want them to be the good, honest, compassionate, loving person I think them to be. (And would like them to be that way with me.) But what I think doesn’t seem to hold much importance with them. In fact a lot about what I think and feel does not seem to carry an ounce of care for them.

But anyways. . . That was 2013.

So after all that Breaking Free, the Fairies have informed me that 2014 will be the year of:

Feeling Safe
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Things will be ok. No matter how depressed and heartbroken I feel. No matter how stressed I may feel. No matter what comes my way. . . I will be OK. All my worries and insecurities I was holding onto, it’s ok for me to let go now. They are not serving me now. Nor did they then.
While I innately “Know” this, sometimes, I lose site of it.  It is part of walking my truth.

We will all be “ok”

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