Love Is A Fist

Last Valentine’s Day, I was running around, scrambling to find a New England Patriot’s cap with the old school logo on it.


I was running up short on places and time.  Seems I just missed the window for it’s popularity, but, the one I was with had mentioned how much they dug it, and how they were thinking about getting one.

I took note.

I had to ask a friend if they could use their Amazon Prime to have the hat ship expeditiously so I could have it in time.

It was sort of an annoying process, but only due to my intense want to surprise my love with a gift that they had actually expressed want in, and running down to the wire of being able to get it in time.

My want to inspire happiness within them.

Thinking back, I wonder if my beloved at that time really appreciated the effort I put in.  The thought.  The desire to make their day special. Or was it just a thought of hey cool! She got me the hat I mentioned.

It’s not like I was/am asking or looking for special recognition or an award for my “martyrdom” in my quest for this hat…..but when dating a narc, there is always this underlying doubt whether or not their partner truly does and can love them.  So while you’re doing back bends and cartwheels for them, in their heads they just keep uping the ante on what proof would “satisfy” this doubt….and of course, as we know, with narcs….there is NEVER any proof that satisfies.


I dug up some Valentine’s day facts and was quite surprised (well not really) to learn that the day actually started with the pagans.

On February 14, billets (small pieces of paper, each of which had the name of a teen-aged girl written on it) were put into a container. Teen-aged boys would then choose one billet at random. The boy and the girl whose name was drawn would become a “couple,” joining in erotic games at feasts and parties celebrated throughout Rome. After the festival, they would remain sexual partners for the rest of the year. This custom was observed in the Roman Empire for centuries.

Celebrated on February 15, Lupercalia (known as the “festival of sexual license”) was held by the ancient Romans in honor of Lupercus, god of fertility and husbandry, protector of herds and crops, and a mighty hunter—especially of wolves.

Clothed in loincloths made from sacrificed goats and smeared in their blood, the Luperci would run about Rome, striking women with februa, thongs made from skins of the sacrificed goats. The Luperci believed that the floggings purified women and guaranteed their fertility and ease of childbirth. February derives from februa or “means of purification.”

So what did we learn here today?
That pagans got their freak on. That the best intentions are often overlooked. That narcs will never trust your love for them (or reciprocate) and that Mike Patton and Mr Bungle said it best…..”Love is a Fist.”


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