Slump.

As par for the course, whenever I have a hooping performance, I always approach the beginning of the process with much zeal and gusto.

I tell myself that “this time” I’m really going to get on the ball….pick my songs, choreograph out the number and have it polished and all slicked out at least a week or two before the show. That way I can take some time to relax, breathe, and get to the point where I have fun with it.

Yeah.  That has yet to happen.

I was asked back towards the end of Jan to partake in a burlesque show at the end of this month.  Of course I started out with good intentions, as stated above, but then my taurean streak of procrastination kicks in.  I tell myself I have plenty of time….I still have time…..Oh shit, I’m running out of time….Oh Fuck it!  Just vortex over and over. 

This show is two weeks and some change?  Just about?  And I still don’t have a clear idea as to what I can do.  I say can, because my skills are, well, they are what they are.  In my head I have visions of what I’d Like to do….but when it comes to the application of said ideas……yeah.  I’m just not that coordinated or…seasoned.

On top of that I also get into a rut of becoming totally bored with what I can do. It doesn’t matter that those in the audience are tickled by chest hooping and find it pretty impressive ….It’s just chest hooping to me. No big whoopdeedoo.

I need to shift my thinking in regards to this. Just because it’s not new and exciting to me, doesn’t mean that the crowd won’t find it exciting. (Plus, it would save me a lot of stress from being all “meehhhh”)

I have made some progress….I have my songs picked out….an outline for one number, which shouldn’t be too taxing to polish (I hope)
But for the other one, I am feeling such a sense of defeat and unenthusiasm due to lack of inspiration, and well…skill.

I know what it is I want to do, yet my body doesn’t know how to do it.
I’m also finding that the rhythms of hooping and the rhythms of certain dance moves I am trying to incorporate don’t necessarily line up.  One throws the other off and vice versa….or again, perhaps it is I who throws it off due to my lack of expertise. 

*sigh*  I know the only way to become a hooping goddess badass is practice practice practice….but decent space in the Northeast of Ohio during winter months is hard to come by…..blaaaah….excuses excuses.

So that is where I am.  As always….in the midst of a hooping choreograph slump, which I am sure I will bounce out of. I will come to that place of  breakthrough after breakthrough after a few more intense, fist clenching, foot stomping, hair pulling, temper tantrum throwing, cursing the gods of hoop practices…..after which I will feel that sense of calm and accomplishment.  I will then wonder what the hell my problem was in the 1st place.

I guess it’s just how my process goes.  So I should just relax.
Roll with the shift. 🙂

On another note, here is the flyer for the show at the end of the month.  I was quite tickled to see my name had sort of toppish billing….(which only feeds more into my need to be super awesome entertaining)

image

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