Jack ass.

I found myself hanging with the ex here and there the past few months, and even though I know better, I threw caution to the wind anyways.

Predictable as he is, and just like clockwork, I once again have found myself in that place where, when he is faced with his contradictions, I am the one who is told to fuck off.

  He still seems quite adamant in his “justification” that since I have and hang around with male friends, that he was excused to partake in inappropriate behavior with ex girlfriends…ex fuck buddies…random girls from random fetish websites…

In his eyes, when you are in a relationship, all other friendships should cease. …and since I don’t believe in such poppycock….he decided that it was his right to start up online affairs.
Then make me feel guilty for even looking at another man. 

It’s not like we were even together these last few months.  So I don’t know why he got his panties in a bunch. 

While I did get huffy over the fact that he was out with some girl at an event that he and I normally would go to, I was more upset over the fact that this new supply of his probably thinks he’s a swell guy…..and I don’t want anyone thinking he’s a swell guy.  Not after all the heartache he put me through, and especially because I know what a dick licker he is.  I suppose it’s the unfairness of how he gets to skip away without any real accountability for his actions. 

That’s what gets me.

I know that karma will catch up to him.  I just want it to be NOW.

And yeah…I probably shouldn’t have been hanging out with him again in the first place.

Life has been pretty good without him in it.  So I should just leave it that way.  We don’t need to be friends, and while I miss the dog immensely…. I need to just let her go as well. 

That’s what makes me the most sad.  The dog.  She was what got me through a lot of the rough patches….. Patches made rough by him nonetheless.

I thought maybe this time around what with the distant few and far between hanging outs and sporadic texts here and there, that we could somehow stay on friendly terms.  After all, as ridiculous as it sounds, I still do care for the guy.  Probably more than some think I should.  But ya know….I still do. 

But ce la vie.

So that’s that.

Other than that annoyance, It’s been burlesque as usual.  I have a show this sat, and a whole bunch of thoughts about my path in burlesque…. But I’m gonna save that for another time.   I just needed to dump all that stupidness off my chest. 

I feel better now.  Not that I felt too horrible to begin with about this last batch of narc nonsense.

I just needed to pick off the last of those brambles. 
Next time, I’ll better navigate that path.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kaylamariehoopdance
    Oct 23, 2014 @ 18:32:49

    Wow that is messed up of this guy. No lady deserves that, good for you for giving up that kind of crap. Have fun with your show on Saturday and just be you hun ❤


  2. pixiegirlkc52
    Oct 23, 2014 @ 20:28:29

    Thank you! I hope the show goes well… I always get incredibly nervous before I go on.


  3. pixiegirlkc52
    Oct 23, 2014 @ 20:38:04

    Now that I think about it…. And I shouldn’t be thinking about it… But again…it goes to show you just how a narc works and the smoke and mirrors involved when preying on a new supply… But the event he took this girl too was to see a friend of his DJ at some swanky joint. When we were together he hardly ever wanted to go see this friend spin because it was at some place he didn’t like, or because he doesn’t like the music his friend spins and bitched about how this friend only seemed to invite him out when he was trying to promote his gigs. Anytime I asked or suggested we maybe go, more times than naught it was met with a no. Now
    that he’s got pseudo dominatrix chick chasing after his J he Is totally playing his cool cards. Anyways…. I just have to let out a ha! Over that thought. Stupid ass.


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