The Build Up- Cancer Can Suck a Dick.

I noticed a few months back that I was feeling kind of…tired.

I thought as first it was because I had run out  of my anti- depressants and was having a hard time getting them renewed due to the fact that my prescribing physician, left his practice.

I had to scramble to find a new Dr, who agreed that could be the reason and just to make sure things were ok, ordered up a blood test just to make sure.  The results came back fine.

Life went on.  I was busy with performances.  Finished up a play I was in.  Had quite a few Burlesque shows…and all the while during the month of October I kept noticing how a little more tired I felt.  A little more winded doing the simple things.

I also began to notice that my back was a bit sore.  The pain would start in the back of my hip area and then radiate out towards the front.  There were days I was hobbling about.  Losing sleep. Making best friends with the heating and sucking down ibuprofen like it was candy.

I felt like I had a uti that had developed into a kidney infection.   The pain got so bad one weekend that I could barely walk. On top of all that I felt slightly feverish.  I took warm bath after warm bath to help ease the pain, on top of nestling with the heating pad and ingesting more Ibuprofen.

I called into my urologist and got the soonest appointment I could.  They wrote me up a script for Cipro, took a urine culture and sent me on my way.  Said it would be 24 hours till the results would be in.

In the meantime, I thought it could also be a problem with a tumor I might have in my pelvis area.  The pain felt very reminiscent to some of the tumor growths I’ve had before.  So I got on the horn and made an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon to make sure nothing was out of whack.

In the meantime, my urine culture came back negative for any kind of infection.

Once at the my Ortho appointment, I had some x-rays taken and nothing showed any signs that the tumor in my pelvis was growing or impeding in any way.  But it still didn’t explain the pain I was having or why I was feeling fatigued.  I was told to go to physical therapy to help manage the pain.

Not satisfied with this, I asked to see a Spine specialist due to the fact that i also have Scoliosis.  I thought maybe my spine could be shifting in such a way that it could be pushing something out of whack.  Another appointment was made and a few days later I was back in front of another specialist telling me that the curvature of my spine, while slight and nothing to be concerned about, was not the issue and to again…..go to physical therapy to work with the pain.

Back to square one in a sense, I racked my brain for the cause of my fatigue….which was becoming worse.  walking up the stairs to my apartment was a struggle.  Putting socks on and I had to stop and catch my breath.   It was getting ridiculous.

I thought back to my last menstrual cycle and thought about how heavy it had been.   Something that was not the norm for me.  I began to wonder if all that loss of blood had somehow affected me in some way and perhaps I was becoming pre-menopausal.

Before I could get make an appointment for the Gyno, I then began to notice these headaches I was getting.   They would start in the back of my head around the base and spread to right above my ears.  It was here that I noticed that my lymph nodes were very swollen.  About the size of peas.  I immediately called my primary care physician and made another appointment to see him.

He prescribed antibiotics for the swollen glands, felt it was a good idea to follow-up with the gyno on my heavy period being the source of my malaise and fatigue and just on the off-chance decided to do another blood draw.

That was last Monday.

The following Tuesday I got in to see the Gyno, but was told that she couldn’t do anything due to the fact that I had started bleeding again.   Two weeks after my last period.  Again….not the norm for me.  We rescheduled for a week later to do an ultra sound.  I left the appointment feeling incredibly frustrated.   However I also felt like maybe my swollen lymph nodes were an indication that my body was fighting off an infection that was the source of my now extreme fatigue.

A few hours later I got a call from my Primary care physician’s office asking that I come in right away.  They had gotten my blood test results in and the Dr. wanted to speak to me personally.   It was very important and I would probably have to be hospitalized.

My mother and boyfriend met me at the office and It was explained to us that my platelet count was so low.  The norm was around 20.  I was at 6.  My red blood cell count was also low.  He had a bed waiting for me at the local hospital and I needed a transfusion at once.

I was checked in and I was immediately given blood.

The next day my Primary Care Physician came in to check on me.  He looked incredibly concerned.  He started out that i wasn’t his area of expertise, so he couldn’t give me all the answers I needed, but it was looking like I had Leukemia.

Later in the day the hematologist on duty came in to confirm that it was, and that it would be best to have me transferred to the cancer center downtown where they could perform all the necessary tests and make the correct diagnosis and start my treatment asap.

I was transported here to the cancer hospital early Wednesday morning and that’s where I’ve been since.

It’s a surreal feeling knowing that I have this.  Mostly because….Why?  Why do I have this?  Why did I develop this?  I was a pretty healthy active person.  There’s no history of it in my family, so where the hell did it come from?

Of course the ego and humaness in me is quite upset about the water weight gain I’ve experienced in just a few short days (as my weight has jumped up at least 11 lbs) and the impending loss of my hair…But that’s why there is a whole incredible world of wigs out there right?  a wig to match your mood.   That could be fun.

My outlook is incredibly positive.  I refuse to give in to this disorder one bit.   Sure the chemo is tiring.  I’m being pumped with all kinds of drugs.  I have to pee like every 2 hours it seems….if not more so when they give me the lascix to help with the water retention….then that’s about every fifteen minutes.   I’m not especially hungry….even though the 15 steroid pills they give me at night are supposed to help with that….but I’m not hulking out or having to shave my face 😛

I have the most incredible support system around me.  Family and friends who haven’t left my side for a minute.  Acquaintances sending their positive vibes and well wishes.  I am truly blessed to not have to go through this alone.  My gratitude is endless.

Yeah… Cancer picked the wrong girl to fuck with.   It’s definitely about to get it’s ass handed to it.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Kelly Tyndall
    Nov 23, 2015 @ 01:50:39

    Kaycee, I love your positive attitude. I am praying for you. I am sure you will kick Cancer’s Ass. Good Luck to you.

    Reply

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