Coming Home.

I went to jam last night and began working on my drills.  I gotta say that it was a good workout, cause I was super pooped when I got home.

Even though it should have only taken me a total of what? 11 mins? To get through all the parts, I went back and tried again to do each section in opposite current.

I also would try at turning the opposite direction that the hoop was going.

I noticed a few things:

-I am def out of hoop shape.

-When spinning the hoop on your hand above your head, turning opposite direction looks pretty cool.

-Spinning the hoop around my neck with my right arm out. . .needs work.

(which is surprising, because usually it’s the left side of my person that is rhythmically challenged?)

-I can chest hoop like no one’s business. . . in my normal current.  Opposite I can hoop like half of somebody’s business.

-I rock at waist/hip hooping.

-However, I do not rock at opposite current on my hips.

-Or knees.

– I shouldn’t say knees, cause I can do it, just can’t get it back up.

– I still feel and think that I look awkward and gawky when hooping.

I should smack myself for that last one.  Such an obstacle to get over. Especially when you are surrounded by all these wonderful beautiful people who look so graceful and svelte when they hoop. . . .or have been in dance class since the age of 2 and strut around in their little booty shorts and tank top, pirouetting and prancing about on their perfectly toned gazelle like legs.  Bitches.  😛

Then there’s me.  Lumpy big butt galumphing around.

The group has gone back indoors.  We have a space that we rent during the colder months, and when it’s warm, we venture outdoors.  It was strange though to walk into the jam room again. . . seeing how I haven’t been in that room in over a year.  A place that once felt like home, seemed so foreign and alien to me.  What our local flow community has become is not the one that still lingers in my head.  The direction that it seems to have taken is not so much the path I want to be a part of per se.  I’ll just say this and save the rest for another day, I went through a pretty rough separation process of coming to a place of acceptance over the turn of events considering the drift that the group seemed to take on.  A lot of separating the memories of how it was with how it is now.  I can finally say that I am not bitter anymore.  Sad?  Ehh, maybe a little.

It is what It is.

Anyways, there weren’t a lot of people at jam last night either.  In fact it was pretty much all old regulars.  Parts of the semi “original” crew if you will.  (with the exception of the two newbies who showed up.  A gal with a fucking sweet atomic hoop and a poi boy.  I shouldn’t say Newbies. . .I don’t know for sure if they’ve been to jam before or not.  But to me, they are Newbies.)

I didn’t talk to new people.  I wasn’t there to make new friends really.  Snotty as that sounds.

But hey.  Whatever right?

I do have to say, that towards the end of the night it felt pretty good to be surrounded by some of my old flow family members. ..  each of us creating our own little energy pockets and sharing with the collective.  Goofing about a bit and sharing tips and ideas on expanding our art, and then falling back into our respective bubbles of inner thought and flow.

I miss that.

I can eat a sucker and hoop? That’s how mad my skills are!