Foxy Vs. Burlesque.

          I wish that I could say that last night’s performance went well, but being overly critical of my self, I will say it did not. If anything, it was ok at best.
My hoop number which I had practiced for maybe 5 days total was a total flop.

(WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE INTO IT FROM THE GET GO)

          I had worked it in, where I would turn my back to the audience, knee/thigh hoop as I undid the zipper of my skirt, pull the skirt down a bit and as I shimmied the hoop back up to my waist, the skirt would fall down. Rehearsing, it was pretty bitchin. The timing . . . the movement, hoop coming up, skirt falling down. . That was my hook line and sinker. . .

          But it didn’t happen that way. As always, when it comes to performance time, the something always seems to go awry. The skirt felt it would be better to stick to me, and not fall, and as a result, I let the hoop drop. Now I know I know, I know, I should have not let it affected me, I just made a little pouty face and picked up the hoop and tried to carry on, but for whatever reason, with the timing of the song, it totally frazzled me. I’m not strong with the improv. I didn’t hit any other “key” move and just ended up swinging my hoop around. Or at least that is what it felt like.

          I also did a poi number this time around for my second number which was received rather well. I didn’t really put much effort into planning a routine for this, just sort of went up there and free flowed. . . My whole shtick was I was dressed in a jail bird costume and the poi were my balls and chains so to speak, which I break out of and spin around. I kept myself clothed for this one . . . because I am not quite sure how to remove clothing and spin poi at the same time. But this number really gave me some inspiration to get back into poi. And to figure out how to undress while doing the butterfly. 😛

          However, I am not sure when I will be working with this Burlesque act again. I feel there is some tension/weirdness between some of the girls and me due to recent happenings. I had started out a member, and then was asked to not be a member of the troupe and come in as a “special guest”. They felt I lacked involvement in group decisions and so forth. However, I was in a situation where I wasn’t able to drive and didn’t have a car. . . and these girls were having meetings like every other week. It was a pain to have to ask someone for a ride, and then have my ride have to sit there with me and listen to a bunch of crap that didn’t involved them per se. And while business was discussed, there was also a lot of “filler” and yip yapping about topics that were, to me, not as important. Getting Tarps for the dingy basement floor that we were dressing in, should not be a 45 min discussion. (Along with who knows so and so and what so and so said and yadda yadda yadda)

          They wanted to say that I didn’t offer much input, but I would offer suggestions for topics I felt were pertinent. I came up with some games. I offered feed back after the 1st show about what could use more polishing. I mean was my opinion about a tarp so Gd important? I said go for it. What more? I got them curtains. . . I advised them of local flow performers I could ask for up coming shows. . . I piped in on what I felt was important or when I had a question.

          They also had set up a forum for just us group members to view, to discuss what went on in the meetings or if someone had something they wanted to throw around before the meeting so they could discuss at the next meeting. . . There were a lot of meetings.

          I don’t want to get catty and be all like “Fuck them bitches!” because while I understand what they are trying to accomplish, and while they said they understood my situation as to why I couldn’t be there. . .They still used my situation to oust me. That is what kinda burns me a little. That my lack of presence at these meetings, was threatening the bond that they had already formed. Can I just shake my head at that?

          Anyhow, I really don’t hold ill will towards the group. I enjoy being a part of it when I can. The girls really are a great bunch of girls. And in the long run, it works out for the best. . .because in all reality, I don’t want “Burlesque” to be my life. I have other things I like to do. Other people I would like to spend my time with, other ventures I would like to embark on.

          *sigh* I don’t know what else to say about this. Probably because there isn’t anything else to say.

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Last Ditched Effort. Pppbbblllt!

I was hoping to scope out a few new hoop spots for the summer, for my own personal reflection and solo time, but I figured I would probably dedicate myself to at least one more night of “rehearsing” for this “variety show” that I was a part of.

I don’t want to get onto the whole back story on this, but I will say that this time around, I don’t really give a poo about polishing my acts.  

All of the performers, with the exception of myself are Burlesque dancers . . . and then there is me.  And my hoop.

 

They do these shows once a month at a local bar, and turn out has been pretty good.  I don’t want to toot my horn or anything, but I think the crowds dig me.

However, I don’t think the other performers realize how much more time, effort and practice goes into my routines.  These gals just shimmy back n’ forth across the stage losing articles of clothing.  I too, have to lose articles of clothing, but I also have to hoop and keep the hoop from falling.  Not only that, but you know, I got to make it entertaining and mix shit up.  I can’t do vortexes the whole time I am up there.

I spent the whole month of June pulling my hair out trying to come up with something fun and entertaining for their theme show “Saints and Sinners”.  I mean I had really worked myself up. Being the somewhat perfectionist when it comes to performing, I was working myself into a tizzy.  I truly exhausted myself on the whole idea of performing Hoop Burlesque.  By the time the show rolled around, I was done.  I didn’t want anything to really do with my hoop.  I didn’t want to see it, and I sure as hell didn’t want to touch it.

http://youtu.be/9RxKntipKsw

http://youtu.be/3HKPjanEBLw

(i should mention that I was totally not paying attention to my spacing and kept bumping the hoop up againt the back wall. mental reminder for this month.)

So this month, with the Theme being Outlaws and Bandits, I barely put any effort into my numbers.  For the 1st 3 wks I just told myself that I would free hoop.  But then I felt kinda bad about doing just that and figured I should at least make an attempt to choreograph something somewhat snazzy.

Which brings me to today.  The night before the show.  Gonna work on some duck outs and ummm, shit.  I dunno. 

But it usually pulls together in the end.  And then I can relax for awhile, and start focusing on what I really need to focus on.

And So It Begins. . . a sort of introduction.

Hi! My name is Kaycee.  .

I’ve been hooping now for about 3 years.  I don’t have some great story as to how I got into hooping.  Nothing religious or spiritual, or life altering that thrusted me into the sphere of hoopdom.  I had been learning to how to spin poi, watching youtube videos and came across a video of a girl hooping it up with some mad skill.  I thought to myself “I want to do that!”  What can I say?  I thought it looked hot.

Ok not really. . . The people I saw in these videos were extensions of what I wanted from myself.  They seemed so in tuned, so focused, yet unaware, caught up in a moment and being in touch with everything all at once.  That and it just seemed like there was more movement involved with the hoop. . . .I could move more freely around than I could with the poi.  All I had to watch for was I didn’t get my shoelaces tangled.

I never imagined what a big impact hooping would have on me .  It changed my life.  It opened me up, It brought me closer to people and helped me feel not only grounded . . . but connected.

The main reason I started this blog was because I have been feeling out of sorts with the whole hooping scene in general.  Let’s face it . . . it’s blowing up.  Big.  And while it’s not necessarily a bad thing, I do have issues with things that I love and have found strength in, in becoming “fads” (which I feel this whole hula hooping has become.)  Seems you can’t go anywhere with out seeing someone with a hoop.  And while I encourage empowerment through hooping, I don’t advocate hooping to look “cool” or to appear “different”

But just because you have a hoop, doesn’t mean you have flow . . . and lately. . I have lost my flow.  I’ve let petty insecurities and peeves affect my ability to see what hooping really means to me . . . what it has done for me, and how it can do that for me again. 

I don’t want the gimmicks.  I don’t need anything fancy (though a LED Atomic hoop from Astral Hoops would be fuckin’ wicked.) I just want to feel connected again.

And if there was ever one thing I got from hooping it’s that.

So I felt that it was time I embarked upon a personal hooping journey. Alone.  Sort of.

I was meeting up with a group once a week to jam, but lately, because of this explosion of hoopness, I feel that there was a certain authenticity that has been lost.  While I love this group fiercely and dearly, I’ve been finding myself not able to immerse myself in the experience.  As I stated above, I’ve got some issues, who doesn’t?

But I am hoping that this journey will help me let go of those issues. 

 

I want to keep track of my progress and while I’m at it, if need be, verbally vomit out all the stupid shit that keeps bubbling up. . . and vomit it out for good.

I want to immerse myself in the goodness that hooping is.  Not the big names.  Not the tricks, not the I know so and so and I have hung out with so and so, and I don’t need to be lighting on fire all the time.

I want to be inspired again.  I want to feel lifted.  I want to feel that connection.  I want to learn new things and have new experiences

So off we go!  Or I go.  Which ever.