I wish that I could say that last night’s performance went well, but being overly critical of my self, I will say it did not. If anything, it was ok at best.
My hoop number which I had practiced for maybe 5 days total was a total flop.
(WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE INTO IT FROM THE GET GO)
I had worked it in, where I would turn my back to the audience, knee/thigh hoop as I undid the zipper of my skirt, pull the skirt down a bit and as I shimmied the hoop back up to my waist, the skirt would fall down. Rehearsing, it was pretty bitchin. The timing . . . the movement, hoop coming up, skirt falling down. . That was my hook line and sinker. . .
But it didn’t happen that way. As always, when it comes to performance time, the something always seems to go awry. The skirt felt it would be better to stick to me, and not fall, and as a result, I let the hoop drop. Now I know I know, I know, I should have not let it affected me, I just made a little pouty face and picked up the hoop and tried to carry on, but for whatever reason, with the timing of the song, it totally frazzled me. I’m not strong with the improv. I didn’t hit any other “key” move and just ended up swinging my hoop around. Or at least that is what it felt like.
I also did a poi number this time around for my second number which was received rather well. I didn’t really put much effort into planning a routine for this, just sort of went up there and free flowed. . . My whole shtick was I was dressed in a jail bird costume and the poi were my balls and chains so to speak, which I break out of and spin around. I kept myself clothed for this one . . . because I am not quite sure how to remove clothing and spin poi at the same time. But this number really gave me some inspiration to get back into poi. And to figure out how to undress while doing the butterfly. 😛
However, I am not sure when I will be working with this Burlesque act again. I feel there is some tension/weirdness between some of the girls and me due to recent happenings. I had started out a member, and then was asked to not be a member of the troupe and come in as a “special guest”. They felt I lacked involvement in group decisions and so forth. However, I was in a situation where I wasn’t able to drive and didn’t have a car. . . and these girls were having meetings like every other week. It was a pain to have to ask someone for a ride, and then have my ride have to sit there with me and listen to a bunch of crap that didn’t involved them per se. And while business was discussed, there was also a lot of “filler” and yip yapping about topics that were, to me, not as important. Getting Tarps for the dingy basement floor that we were dressing in, should not be a 45 min discussion. (Along with who knows so and so and what so and so said and yadda yadda yadda)
They wanted to say that I didn’t offer much input, but I would offer suggestions for topics I felt were pertinent. I came up with some games. I offered feed back after the 1st show about what could use more polishing. I mean was my opinion about a tarp so Gd important? I said go for it. What more? I got them curtains. . . I advised them of local flow performers I could ask for up coming shows. . . I piped in on what I felt was important or when I had a question.
They also had set up a forum for just us group members to view, to discuss what went on in the meetings or if someone had something they wanted to throw around before the meeting so they could discuss at the next meeting. . . There were a lot of meetings.
I don’t want to get catty and be all like “Fuck them bitches!” because while I understand what they are trying to accomplish, and while they said they understood my situation as to why I couldn’t be there. . .They still used my situation to oust me. That is what kinda burns me a little. That my lack of presence at these meetings, was threatening the bond that they had already formed. Can I just shake my head at that?
Anyhow, I really don’t hold ill will towards the group. I enjoy being a part of it when I can. The girls really are a great bunch of girls. And in the long run, it works out for the best. . .because in all reality, I don’t want “Burlesque” to be my life. I have other things I like to do. Other people I would like to spend my time with, other ventures I would like to embark on.
*sigh* I don’t know what else to say about this. Probably because there isn’t anything else to say.